A friend of mine bought a gym a few months ago, and i decided that was a good enough sign to quit NOT using my Golds gym power cage upstairs at home, and buy a gym membership that I will not use instead. But actually, I have been averaging 2- 3 times a week for thew past few months! Funny thing about getting back in the gym. I quit trying to lose weight a couple of months ago, and decided instead of making my gut smaller, I would make it LOOK smaller by making the rest of me look Bigger. And its actually working! Normally a wild assed plan like this is just an excuse to go back to a quieter, lazier, t.v. packed, more sedentary way of life. but not this time, friend! All kidding aside, though, once I get back into it, I really do enjoy working out. I dig the results. And hell, one of these days somebody might even accuse me of looking like I excercise! One of these days. And the cool thing is if I eat too much or the wrong stuff, I can just call it fuel and burn it off later. I even did crunches today. Them suckers hurt! And i realized today that I am not pretty while doing crunches. With my legs in the air bent at the knees, I look like a spastic, dying bug blasted with Blag Flag spray. This gym is great! Its never packed, and sometimes I am the only one there. That reminds me, I should probably wash that towel. And the really cool thing is that by the time New years rolls around, I will be way ahead of everyone and be already forgetting about getting in shape this year.  ¶ 7:29 PM 0 Comments

  Man, I am slipping. I forgot to rant about yesterdays excursion through commercialism. The hotel we do maintenance at had one of their waterheaters die. And of course, it happened when they are packed full of people for the big holiday weekend. So it looks like a trip to Menards because nobody here has commercial water heaters in stock. The boss needed me, and my pickup, to go to BigBoxTown early to beat the black friday rush. So we get to Menards at 6 freakin a.m., and we cant find a parking spot! There are people parked over the curb, and on the grass! All to save a couple bucks on a Skil saw! I dropped Boss off and circled like a vulture preying on limping Toyotas just trying to get to the main road. I finally para-sighted a spot opening up at the garden center and backed in, much to the dismay of the other jackals around me. I sat waiting for Boss to call me and let me know if he got one. Man, I sure regretted quitting smoking! I did find a fingernail that needed some chewing though. After about 20 minutes I get out to see if he was at the exit or check out or close to being done. As I get to the back of the truck, the fella in the next car yells at me "Hey man, I know your sitting there waiting on whoever you're waiting on, and you have probably seen as much of all this crazy shit as I have." "Yeah," I said. "check this out for 30 seconds and tell me what you think. Just listen for thirty seconds." "Allright. Sure!" was all I said, thinking whatever this is, its got to be more entertaining than watching near misses in the parking lot and listening to christmas songs on the radio. Stupid radio stations. So he starts spitting out the dopest rymes, g. All about how people are sucked up in shopping for stuff we dont need when theres people starving. I gave him more than 30 seconds. I was pretty impressed. I cant put 2 sentences together without throwing in an Uhhhh... or ummmm... What he was rapping about was pretty good. And I told him so. then he started telling how he wants to be heard and how he's white just like Eminem and how Eminems birthday is October 17th, and his is on October 16th, and thats got to mean something, right? Probably not. Anyway I didnt answer him on that one. Then he starts telling me way too much about his past, then I start thinking, "wackjob!". I shouldnt, but I did. Sorry Menards parking lot rapping guy. My bad. Anyway, Boss called my cell phone, I met him at the exit, we went around back, picked it up, and went to work, everything was swell. And then this morning I started thinking "Ha! Christmas rapping! Free! Free Christmas rapping at Menards!" Ha! LOL! Did somebody pull my leg? Where are the hidden cameras? Is this some kind of joke? Noooo, its not. he is right. Too much time spent on shopping and not enough on just plain giving of yourself. So its OK to start the season early. Not with early sales. Early giving of yourself. Wether its your time or blankets to Goodwill. So, thanks, and once again, sorry Menards parking lot rapping guy. Good job. He gets it. Well, thats about it. I better get off the computer and get something done today.  ¶ 6:36 AM 0 Comments

  I was happy to see Thanksgiving roll around so I could see this little guy again. here is the newest addition to the family. My younger sisters first kid, anyway. Matthew Sparks. Hes the quiet one. So far. And hasnt quite started chowing on pink jelo fluff yet. Maybe next year. A great time was had by all.

This picture shows exactly why living in central Minnesota during holiday travel is no big deal. Not a car in sight! And at 11 am on Thangsgiving Day! It only took an hour to go a little over 50 miles to my sisters house. It started out a pretty nice relaxing morning.

Then I got to my sisters and all that changed! I'm not complaining, though. Man, as soon as I got there, there were rugrats underfoot and ready to play for hours! No napping post turkus inhalus this year! Little suckers were all over me like a bad suit. Ready to play "cars and trucks". But first, the feast! Plenty to eat. Lots of great food. My younger sister brought her pink jello fluff... about 7 pounds of it. I brought a pie, and my older sister and her family provided the rest. After I wore out my welcome I headed home and stopped in at a freinds house for pie... and a few plates of food. Man, didnt have any trouble catching some sleep last night. I really should lay off the deviled eggs, though. and pie. and stuffing. and pretty much food altogether for the next few days. Well, hope you have a great Thanksgiving weekend! Later!  ¶ 5:07 PM 0 Comments

 
Ha! Check me out! It looks like I just got an idea! I finally got around to throwing a photo on here! I should put one on the profile, but hey, one thing at a time. Other than that nothing much to write about. Everything is swell.  ¶ 3:49 PM 1 Comments

  Its a Charlie Brown Thangsgiving. Maaaannnn, everytime I see this special it just takes me back to simpler times. Sharing pumpkin pie with Snoopy and Woodstock. Goood times. I never had to worry about getting a good napping spot or if just bringing cranberries equals taking 6 pounds of leftovers home. Have you ever noticed noone ever worries if they got any mashed potatos leftovers? I think its cause when noones around, gravy goes with everything. Cool! A brand spanking new Charlie brown special just came on. "He's a bully Charlie Brown". Damn, charlie Brown got tough. Go get em, Chuck! Gotta watch this, hold on. Hey, I'm gonna try one of these newfangled paragraph breaks all the cool kids are doing nowadays.

Ha, "the bachelor" is on. Its amazing how fast some women will fight over and say they love a guy with a castle. Cool.

Tortilla chips sure are delicious.

I prefer disposable razors to electric ones, but will still use an electric one in a pinch.

I borrowed one of those squeegees for windows like they have at the gas station. Its works really great for house windows! I dont know why people bitch about doing windows! That reminds me. I should really bring that back to the gas station.

Quitting smoking is hard. Dont do it kids! (I should practice my public service announcement in case anything comes from that whole gas station thing.) I have been a non smoker for over a month and a half so far! It reeeaaally sucks. I still miss it quite a bit sometimes, but it is a lot easier now. And I do feel awesome.

Have you seen that new Burger King commercial where the parents are whining to the kid to pleeeeeeeeeaaaaase bring them to Burger King? Its freaking hilarious!

Man, I am really digging this paragraph break thing! Makes me look like I wrote a book or something. In fact, I am really going to have to start talking like this. Ha!

I bid you Good day!  ¶ 5:31 PM 1 Comments

  Hot time in the big town last night, I tell ya! I got to be a bingo caller at Lions bingo last night. I was a little nervous to start just because before we got started I found out it was kind of ritualistic. I thought I just belted out numbers and letters. Nope. You have announcements and use actual bingo lingo. and for some reason noone thought it was funny when I told them they could buy a lucky card for another quarter. I guess bingo is a pretty serious game. Before I got ahold of the game, anyway. I also almost lost one of the little round bingo balls. I caught it before it landed in the lemon bars for sale below the table so i averted a small crisis. And the fella who I handed the bingo balls (sounds like a condition you get when you spend too much time at the bingo hall, doesnt it?) to, kept grabbing my thumb instead of the ball. I was wondering why until I put my thumb in the tray and sure enough, it fit perfectly. And the real funny thing is for the bake sale held previous to the bingo game, the Lions asked me to bring a pan of bars to sell. Well, to anyone seasoned in a kitchen, thats no big deal. But for me, they might as well asked me to balance the country's deficit problem... and to show my work. I dont know how to make bars! I'm a freaking idiot around flour and a cake pan! but I did hear how easy rice crispy bars are, so I tried them. And no self respecting bachelor worth his weight in prepackaged microwaveable food wouldnt wait till an hour before bingo to make it. Cuz they said it only takes 5 minutes. YEAH... to find and wash the pans! It took me about 45 minutes and I had to google rice krispie bars! Everything turned out pretty well I must say. And the kitchen fire went out with a little bit of baking soda. Just kidding, no fire. Hell, I even threw in some chocolate chips, though! Cause if I am going to pay a quarter for a rice crispy bar, it better have some damn chips! Well, I'm still trudging along with all the enthusiasm of a slug with a sore whatever slugs move with. Great weather lately though. At least I got all my outside crap done. We have been remodeling the parsonage and just got the word that it has been rented this morning. Cool! Havent made much real progress on my own place lately since I got the roof shingled. I guess after that small victory I have kind of taken it easy for a while. I have to make sure all the storms are all on and washed and good shape today. What is the freakin deal with printers nowadays? They are more trouble than they are worth. I just bought ink for this peice o' crap a month ago and now it wont use blue. When the hell did I use that much blue? You have got to be kidding me. I dont remember going on a blue printing frenzy! i sure feel blue though. Where did it go? Lexmark can kiss my absence of blue ass. Ahhhhhh, that felt good. Thanks for listening. At least I can depend on black. Good ol' black. trusty black. Hey, I had a surprise a few days ago. I watched "Click" and got more than I expected. I expected just a run of the mill Sandler comedy, but it actually ended up with an "its a wonderful life" edge to it I wasnt expecting. pretty entertaining, anyway. I also watched benchwarmers. Wow. Groundbreaking comedy there. Lots of fart jokes, nutsack hitting, and a really original underdog group of freinds come from behind and win at life story. Like I said. Wow. Well, I feel caught up with ya. Thats about it for whats new.  ¶ 12:17 PM 3 Comments

  Well I woke up early to pangs of pain in my lower back and snow on the ground. Good morning, my ass! This bites! I'm not ready!!!!!! Even though we had snow a month ago, it was a fluke. This is not a fluke. This is a harbinger of winter. I know I live in Minnesnowduh but I am still not ready. Movin on. I think I did too much at the gym last night. I havent been there for a week, so I was trying to make up for it. Man, my lower back kinda hurts. Nothing that a hot shower cant cure. Hey, did you see the CMA's the other night. Wow, when did country get so poppy? Seems like now all you need is a southern twang... nah, scratch that, look at keith urban, martina mcbride, and rascall flatts. Nothing country bout that. And I like country. Anyway, I just reread what I wrote and realized, sure enough, i am not morning people. Maybe later I will let you know about what I liked about my day. Worse case scenario... maybe not. I should probably make good use of this time and clean. Ha, fat chance. I will probably surf till its time to go to work!  ¶ 4:28 AM 0 Comments

  Well, its election day. I know, I know, "thanks for the special report, Captain Obvious" Just wanted you to know. I voted. I think I made a difference. Except in the judges and court of appeals section. Once again, I dont see any tight races coming out of that one. It is pretty much vote for John Doe... or the cute girl that works at Caseys. write ins. what a joke. I wonder how many votes she gets, anyway? I can see the ticker now, zooming by at the bottom of my tv screen at the speed of a Governor hopeful bowing out gracefully after a sudden tourettes like outburst escaping from his mouth before he can pop it back in or.. sorry. got a little off track there. Anyway, Cute Caseys Girl wins! With promises of fresh donuts every morning and coffee so strong they will have to scrape you off the ceiling with a 99 cent ice scraper. Thats what wins elections folks. The never ending promises of a better life. Less taxes. More take home money. Better roads. Brighter kids. Just that warm fuzzy feeling you get that things are going to be better. Every four years. It gets a little better. Right. dream on. I dont think any of these guys really do a tenth of what they say they will. Its who can dazzle us with the biggest load of crap. I think the biggest reason I vote is so I can feel better about saying this stuff. Its like a golden ticket to say later on things like "Caseys girl sure came through on that new stronger coffee referendum" or "Man, I told you John Doe was a dumbass!" HA, HA, ha, ha! LOL! Thats ironic! Dancing with the Stars just came on. If your going to throw a vote away...  ¶ 4:43 PM 0 Comments

  No news is good news. And makes for pretty lean blog entries. Sorry. My sister and her family got a new van. A 91 dodge caravan. new to them, anyway! Its in pretty good shape actually. And this is the kicker, I have acummulated so much stuff, I was actually able to tell my brother in law that I might have something in the back when he said it needs a back seat! and sure enough, I did! Now heres where things get a little out of hand. When someone says "I need a pair of gloves" and you give them one from home, thats normal. When someone says, "hey, I need a back seat for my 91 dodge van" and you give them one from home, thats when a mental inventory is needed more than a physical one is. Unless your a junk dealer, then, right back to perfectly normal. If your just a guy, like me, too much crap. Next time someone offers me a vehicle seat, I will just respectfully decline. No thank you. I'm good. I already have some. But yet, I watch "antique roadshow" sometimes and see these people going nuts because this crappy table they were given is worth 25 to 30,000 bucks just because it was the first one made by an early colonial one eyed drunk who used to shoe Benjamin Franklins horse. I have a friend who is a junk dealer. collector. Purveyor of gently used items. Whatever you want to call him, if your looking for it, he has probably got it. So he is providing a pretty good service, and I just plain need to do some housecleaning. I think I see a plan forming here.  ¶ 5:14 PM 0 Comments